What Was Once Lost Has Now Been Found...

Some really amazing things are happening in my life at the moment, and as it all whirlwinds around me I remembered I hadn't been by here in awhile to share. I had started a post a few months ago and never finished it. So here it is, in a half assed finished format, as per usual ;)

I have a sense of humor, a good one.. no a great one (at least that's what I think, for whatever it's worth!). In addition I have a goofy side, except I don't consider it to be very inventive. It's there, it's just a bit deeper down inside. As far as I can tell, my child has inherited my sense of humor as well as the goofiness. The difference here is that her goofiness resides near her surface. Maybe that's because she is a kid, and kids hide nothing. Why it is isn't really that important though. I love everything about her, but I have to say this is one of my favorites. So I'd like to share some things she has done recently that I deem worthy of sharing.

A few nights ago we went out to dinner with my best friend. As many of you likely know, going to dinner with a toddler is quite the adventure. I have to laugh at the thought of how silly I must look when we are sitting in a restaurant and my arms are flailing all over the place in an attempt to grab sharp objects and breakables before she hurts herself or someone else. All the while saying things like: 'No no, don't eat that napkin! Or that crayon!' and 'Leave your pants on!' Needless to say at this point I'm sure, but it can take sometime to actually look at a menu and pick out what I want to eat and it takes twice that amount of time to find something for her to eat. Lately I've been trying to involve her in that process a bit and I'm starting to wonder if that's a mistake when all I hear is: 'I want chickens mommy!'

Onward to my point... As I attempted to get a glimpse at the menu and pick something, I failed to notice what S was doing. As I placed my order, I took a look in her direction just in time to catch her coloring her feet. Yes my child had taken off her shoes and her socks and was coloring her toes with a yellow crayon. Now I'm sure this behavior is not considered part of the 'Good Table Manners' handbook, but that didn't stop me from laughing. I'm sure some parents would call her behavior as well as mine completely inappropriate. But I look at it a little differently. While I don't think dinner guests would necessarily appreciate her coloring her feet at the table, I think they'd also understand she's 21 months old. She's too young to be expected to know what the phrase 'table manners' even means. In addition, we both have time to get this down, and I'm sure a little giggle from me won't set us back too far! For any parent reading this who is horrified.... I did ask her to stop and put her shoes back on... after I laughed.. yeah I said it... After I laughed.

There you have it... this post was one I started back around Christmas time, or was it just after Christmas... I can't remember. Either way, it's been sitting in here untouched for months now and I had completely forgotten about it until I just happened to go in to edit my last post (seen below) today. Originally I had notes to share a few other stories, but I think this is just fine for now. I'm so glad I found this post, what a fun little story/night to remember!

I do better with lists!

It seems that many women today have a Pinterest addiction. I have to admit it's a neat little site and useful for sure, but I have yet to become completely addicted (thank goodness!). I hadn't been on it for several weeks and recently started getting emails letting me know about all of my new followers. So I decided to jump on and see what's happening on there. Plus I needed to find a recipe to make for dinner tomorrow night. And 2 hours later here I sit without a clue about what I am making for dinner tomorrow but now armed with this cool list (that has nothing to do with cooking or eating). The purpose of this post is to hold me to doing every one of the things listed with Sky before this year is over. Good thing I already have a head start! This morning she helped me 'clean' the bathroom by playing in the toilet with a wash cloth... I'm thinking I can probably cross off #32... right? Oh and if anyone knows what the heck #18 is... a little help please!?!?

1. Color
2. Blow Bubbles
3. Play Hide-and-Seek
4. Peek-a-Boo
5. Play Chase
6. Do Finger-plays
7. Sing a song
8. Collect rocks in a basket
9. Make an obstacle course out of cushions and/or furniture
10. Make a fort out of cushions and sheets
11. Go for a Walk
12. Make a Car out of a Box
13. Read a book
14. Go to the park
15. Finger-paint
16. Play with Play-Dough
17. Toss Bean bags into a Bucket
18. Play the shell and pea game
19. Dance to music
20. Download games for toddlers from the Internet
21. Practice putting things in and taking things out of boxes and bags
22. Make a temporary slide out of a table leaf and your couch
23. Roll a ball back and forth on the floor
24. Scoop dirt or sand into a child's bucket (or use a serving spoon and bowl)
25. Practice climbing by stacking boxes on top of each other (only with adult supervision)
26. Put on a puppet show
27. Go fishing with a yard stick and yarn
28. Make a Horseshoe game
29. Make a Shape Puzzle
30. Play paper basketball
31. Run through a Sprinkler
32. Play with a bucket of water and a sponge (PLEASE WATCH CHILD AT ALL TIMES!)
33. Make a Drum out of an oatmeal box
34. Play with a kazoo
35. Wash windows together
36. Bang on Pots and Pans with a spoon
37. Brush each other's teeth
38. Play dress-up with stuffed animals and your child's clothes
39. Stack canned or boxed food on top of each other
40. Let child stack mixing bowls inside each other
41. Make a playhouse out of a large box
42. Let child play with a sticker sheet (make sure your child doesn't eat them!)
43. Put stickers on fingers for finger puppets
44. Play a musical instrument together- i.e.recorder, piano, etc.
45. Go on a Smelling Hunt
46. Frost Cookies
47. Plant a flower or vegetable plant together
48. Roll a tennis ball into an empty trash can or bucket
49. Draw on a mirror with dry-erase markers
50. Play hide and seek together- trying to find a stuffed animal or other object
51. Have a splash party together in the bathtub
52. Put a leash on a stuffed animal and walk around the house
53. Record each other on a tape recorder (great for scrapbooks or journals!)
54. Make and try on paper hats
55. Give a piggy-back ride
56. Play "Horsey"
57. Talk into an electric fan (it distorts your voice)
58. Play tug-of-war with a blanket
59. Collect flowers (felt, artificial, real...)
60. Make a camera and go on a Safari
61. Play games with frozen juice lids
62. Disconnect your phone and pretend to make phone calls to relatives
63. Leave your phone connected and really make phone calls to relatives- let your child talk too
64. String large beads onto or along a shoelace
65. Squirt each other with squirt bottles
66. Glue shapes onto paper
67. Make sock puppets
68. Make paper puppets
69. Fill an old purse with toys
70. Use a paper towel tube as a megaphone
71. Make binoculars and go "Bird Watching" or "Stuffed Animal Watching"
72. Put snacks in different fun containers (paper sacks, empty canisters, etc.)
73. Act out a story from a book
74. Walk on a balance beam- use a 2x4 placed on the ground
75. Draw with chalk on the sidewalk
76. Sketch an outline of your child on the sidewalk or paper with chalk
77. Paint child's palms with tempura paint and blot on paper. Makes a great card for loved ones!
78. Put lipstick on child and kiss a mirror
79. Make a puddle on cement and splash barefoot in it
80. Let child decorate and eat an open peanut butter sandwich
81. Make a toilet paper barricade for child to go under, over, or through
82. Do the Hokey Pokey
83. Make a super-hero costume out of household items
84. Do Knee-Bouncing Rhymes
85. Play "Red Light, Green Light" saying "Go" and "Stop"
86. Make a shoe-box train for stuffed animals
87. Make a pillow pile to jump on (keep it clear from any hard surfaces, including walls!)
88. Make an easy puzzle with felt and Velcro
89. Make bracelets or collars for stuffed animals out of pipe cleaners and jingle bells
90. Learn numbers from a deck of cards
91. Play the matching game with a deck of cards
92. Make a domino chain
93. Have a picnic in the park, backyard, or living room!
94. Play dress up in Mommy or Daddy's clothes
95. Make a tin cup telephone and talk to each other in it
96. Make a nature collage
97. Mirror each other
98. Make a "Mummy Mommy" with toilet paper
99. Make a tape recording of short music selections and instructions to move in different ways
100. Make and walk along a toilet paper trail
101. TAKE A NAP!

What's in a number anyway?

A couple of weeks ago my birthday rolled around once again and I turned 29. All I heard in the days leading up to, the day of and for a few days after were phrases like this one 'Last year of your 20's! Before you know it, you'll be 30!' (apparently people think I can't count). I don't care much about getting older (although I did have a mini freak out when I turned 25, but for the sake of this post, we'll pretend that never happened). So when 29 rolled around this year, I thought 'eh, another year, whatever.'

You know the saying 'Age is just a number'?

Let's talk about that saying...

People often say it and right after say: 'I may be 60 but I feel 21!!!' <--- yeah right, this is complete and total bull shit. You may 'act' like you're 21 but I'm pretty sure at 60 you don't 'feel' like your 21 anymore. I do agree with the statement 'age is just a number'...... to an extent. Let's just do a little comparison of what a typical Friday night (like tonight) was like for me in my early 20's compared to now...


Early 20's
Done work by 5 (likely sooner)
Head home, grab a beer from the fridge and hang out for a bit
7-8ish - Take a shower/get ready
9-10ish - head to the bar
2am - Hit up Jack in the Box
3am - Video games!
5-6am - Bed

At 29 (more specifically tonight)
5-7 - Dinner at my Aunt's house
7:45 - Wrestling match ensues to get pajamas on
7:50 - Wrestling match comes to an abrupt halt as she vomits all over my bed, me,and herself
7:52-8:15 - Bath and clean up of bedding (There is nothing worse than mash potato vomit *gag*)
8:15-8:45 - Cuddles
8:45-9 - Begin working
9 - 9:30 - More puke, more clean up
9:30 - Commence working
*check on baby every 10 5 minutes*

.... and that brings me to now, about 11:15. I'll most likely be going to bed after I write this. Although I may stay up and work more.

So is age really 'just a number'? I suppose it kind of is, because I could be 18, 20, or 22 and doing what I did tonight. My life sure is drastically different today than it was when I was 22. I suppose that comes from a lifestyle change we mothers make. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.. I chose to become a mother and I do love it... even when I am cleaning potato and carrot chunks from my blanket. *gag*

By the way, if anyone has tips on how to clean a TV remote control after it has been puked on, I'm dying to hear them!

Return of the Rambler.. Yadda Yadda and Blah Blah Blah!

Woah woah woah, it's been a bit eh? I've been seriously neglecting this public chalkboard of mine! As I was thinking about it last week, I realized how much has happened since my last sch-peel and I wanted to slap myself for not coming here to ramble more often. My life may not be excitement to the max, but I have a way (as does my daughter) of colliding with the humorous side of life. When I started this blog my intention was to use it as a 'memory book' of life's little happenings, more specifically all things involving S. Somewhere along the line I got off track, but hey, life has been busy for this chick! Unfortunately for my craptastic memory, I missed out on several months (some of the best months at that) of the amazingness known as S. Therefore, from this day forward, I'm making a deal with myself to make a better effort at updating more often. I'd say that this 'deal' involves me updating at least once a week, but I've never been good at keeping deals with myself....

Now that all that mumbo jumbly jumble is taken care of, there are a few things that happened during my hiatus that have stuck out in my mind. I'd like to share all of these things, but that would make for an incredibly long ramble that no one cares to even begin to read I'm sure. So instead, I'm going to pick one story to tell now and save the others for another day. It'll still be long, and I'll be amazed if anyone reads it thru.. but this is more about me anyway ;)

Since I have been gone for awhile, naturally things have changed a lot. Since moving I am now in school full time and working part time. I used to be convinced my time management skills were top notch, but over the last 7 months I realized this theory needs some serious re-evaluation. So lets just say these skills are no longer exceptional (as I used to 'think') but now just a notch above suck. I'm not sure why or how this happened, but I'm becoming more and more convinced it has to do with the 1,000+ new thoughts a day that come along with being a Mom.

This new found 'suck level' of time management has required some creative adjustments in my life. One example of an adjustment made involves my study time. I try to study in advance when I know I have a test coming, but sometimes I get bogged down in work or other homework and studying often becomes the red headed step child in my world of priorities. I know, I know, it's a horrible habit to wait until the last minute, but I'll admit it happens. A few months ago this exact situation occurred. I studied some for an Anatomy test I had coming up, but realized the day of that it had not been nearly enough.  

Pet Peeve - People who interrupt. I even get a bit annoyed when I interrupt myself like I'm about to do to give a Quick background - My anatomy class is twice a week in the afternoon into the evening. S's daycare closes at 5:30... so on the days I have a class in the afternoon I have to go and pick her up before class (since my class isn't out until 7). Thank goodness I have such a wonderful sister and brother-in-law (<----- these 2 watch her for me while I go to class!) So I pick her up and bring her from daycare to my sister's house and then go on to class. 

Back on track... So the day of my anatomy test I studied in the morning until my first class and then studied after that class up until I had to leave school to pick S up. As I drove to daycare, I repeated random facts out loud (Car Studying) in hopes that would somehow magically implant everything I needed to know into my brain. Once I picked S up and had her in the car with me, I continued my car study session. Within seconds of me calling out the parts of the heart, arteries and veins, S pipes in and the conversation ensues as follows:

Me: "Atria, Ventricles..."
S: "Mommy!"
Me: "What?"
S: (Says nothing/is quiet)
Me: "Superior Vena Cava, Aorta, Pulmonary..."
S: "Momma!"
Me: "What hunny?"
S: (Says nothing/is quiet)
Me: "Auricles... wait, is that it? Or is it...."
S: (yelling this time) "Mommy!!"
Me: "What is it monkey?"
S: (Says nothing/is quiet)
Me: "Cordae Tendenae, valves... hmmm.. what are the valves.. oh yea... Bicusp.."
S: (even louder now) "Mommy!!!!"
Me: "What is it Sky? Do you not like Mommy talking? Do you want me to be quiet?"
S: "Uh..............Yes!"
Me: "Well ok then!"

The rest of our ride I was quiet and so was she. Apparently she is not a fan of car studying! I don't know if she dislikes me talking so much or if she was irritated I was talking over 'her' music. You'd think she'd be okay with listening to me talk once in awhile, it's not like I do it that often.... geez!

Resurrected

Wow, it's been over a month since my last post. Things have been wonderful, and here's where I might normally say... "And Busy" as an excuse as to why I have not posted recently. But in all reality, I haven't been that busy. Sure, work here and there... trying to figure out my life plan, and well, that about sums up what I have been doing. And playing with S of course!

Shortly before I left AZ, I had started a post that I did not have a chance to finish. I wanted to revisit that post now, but in a much briefer format:

"With our upcoming move approaching quickly, I have been thinking a lot about what I will miss about Arizona. But I have been thinking a whole lot more about what I WON'T miss about it. So here it is...

Things I will miss:

My family

My friends

Pita Jungle

Salty Senorita
Good Concerts!

Music Class

24 hour stores

The ability to slip on some flip flops year around and go

Things I definitely WON'T miss:

Rude people

Bad drivers (traffic in general)

Feeling like I am constantly on fire from May to October

The color Brown

Meat heads in affliction t-shirts

The severe lack of rain or rather any weather besides sunny and hot

Year long construction season

The ample traffic lights

Geez, now that I have actually made lists I am surprised that my won't list isn't a lot longer then my will miss. Arizona was good to me for a few years, but I have been yearning to get our for some time now. Why I thought I'd enjoy living in a place that has no snow, little rain and is hotter then hell 80% of the year, I do not know. In no way am I saying that I regret moving here, the last 8 years have been wonderful. It has given me the opportunity to see my niece and nephew grow up and spend lots of time with my sister and mother. For that I am grateful. It also gave me the opportunity to live in a completely different culture then I was used to. A culture that I have since decided is just not for me or my child. While talking to a friend of mine recently, he said something that I believe describes this state well. "What a soul-less place". And that is exactly how I perceive Arizona, I just hadn't realized it until this point.

I'm not saying that everyone who resides here is soul-less, there are some good people here. But the majority = soul-less and as we all know, majority rules. I have become completely fed up with the people as a whole here. People are rude, inconsiderate and are typically thinking of only themselves. For example, I spoke about the mall in my last post.. did I mention that I live in the mall's backyard? I can see Sears from my window as I type this. So naturally when we go to the mall, we just walk there. In order to walk there, we must cross the 'mall loop road'. This of course is the road that goes around the entire mall. Every time (and I mean literally every single time) we cross this road, I have to wait until no cars are coming because cars simply do not stop. State law = pedestrians have the right of way in a crosswalk. Apparently every single person who drives this road did not receive the memo. It's just like a real life game of frogger, and let me just say I don't appreciate having to play such a game with my child. When people do stop, it's typically by slamming on their breaks and then immediately speeding up afterwards as if to vent their frustration and let you know they are annoyed. It's rather ridiculous and this is definitely something that can be filed under WON'T miss.

I have found that living here has changed me, and definitely not for the better. I find that I am bitter. Living here has made me despise the human race as a whole. At first I didn't realize these changes in my opinions. It wasn't until my last visit home that I realized, not all people are mean and inconsiderate. This is something I am looking forward to when we move. People in Maine are friendly, helpful and generally more trust worthy than people here."

I know, how does the word brief describe this at all right?

Moving forward - Now that I have been here for a month, I'd now like to redo my above 'miss' lists:

Miss:

Family
Good Concerts!

Saddle Ranch Buffalo Chix Sandwich - I have talked about this sandwich at least 4 times in the past 48 hours.

Short traffic lights

Music class

Don't Miss:

100+ degree weather

Rude people

Bad drivers

The color brown

Yet again (without even looking at my original lists) my lists are about even, how interesting.

Oh and one last thing... Never again will I have to worry about this....

happening to my guitar, myself, my car, my daughter etc. if left outside for too long

The Random Post

We are exactly one week until moving day. I still have lots to do, but I'm not worried about getting it all done. Tomorrow I move my furniture out and my precious comfy bed will be gone.

Moving is bitter sweet, there are some things I will miss about living here but they are far and few between I think. But I'll save that for another post.

This week has been busy and some random stuff happened that made me giggle (although I am sure I am the only one who will find it even remotely funny) so I thought I would share...

Oh first let me just say.. Happy 1st Birthday to my spastic little monkey! She turned one last Saturday, We had a wonderful party with my family and had her pictures taken by an amazing photographer who I will miss tremendously once we move.

Onto the randomness..

For those who are unaware, I am an addict. My addiction? Dunkin Donuts coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Usually iced coffee (I do currently live in the desert you know) and usually a turkey, bacon cheddar flatbread or bacon egg and cheese on a croissant. I try not to go there more then once a week, but this week...  I was tired so therefore I NEEDED it. At least that is how I justified the multiple trips I took there. The first trip I took, they forgot to give me a straw for my coffee. I didn't realize this until I had already driven away. So I spent my drive home doing my best not to dump it all over myself. The next trip I took, the guy gave me two straws. SCORE! I now have a backup straw in case the Dunkin Donuts dude ever forgets to give me one again.

This week was really busy work wise, which is fantastic. However it was tough because everyone needed their stuff done "like last week". I spent Monday night at my sister's house working with her on one of our projects until 2am. We completed her project for the most part, but I had another project for a different project manager who needed it done right away as well. Silly me thought that I could just come home and work through the morning until S woke up. So from 2:30am until 5:30am I attempted to work. With my laptop on my lap, headphones on, music blaring I spent those hours 'working'. It went something like... click click, type type for 5-10 minutes, eyes closed for 10-15 minutes, repeat. This cycle repeated itself until 5:30am when I finally went to bed until 6:30 when S woke up for the day. I got through 3 of 9 sheets, and later that day when I went back to review what I had done I had to redo most of it anyway. I guess I am just no good at sleep working. The good news is, I didn't fall asleep with my face on the keyboard, so no asdfg imprints on my face. I consider that a great victory!

As a result of my frantic sleep lacking mind, I forgot to put the print order in for the project I did finish Monday night. Therefore we sadly didn't make it to S's music class on Tuesday. I was bummed about this since we only had/have 2 classes left. We'll make it for the last one next week for sure. A few people have asked me what her music class is about. Here's a link, check it out! Click around a bit and you may see some familiar faces.

Rewinding for a minute to Monday morning. My sister was here from out of town for the weekend and Monday I had to bring her and my niece to the airport for their flight home. I was up late Sunday night working which apparently made me slightly delirious when I put my pajamas on before crashing into bed. It wasn't until Monday afternoon (hours after the airport run) that I realized my pajama pants were on inside out. Yes, I do frequently wear my pajamas all day, Yes I did walk through the airport in my inside out pajamas, and No it does not bother me. But it sure did make me laugh.

Thursday S had her one year checkup at the doctor. After all the usual was done (weight, height, eyes/ears checked etc) and her doctor was out the door, in came the nurse to give her her shots. Every time is the same, she is smiling and having a grand ol time up until the first shot is in. After that first shot she always gets beat read, scrunches her face up and clamps her hands into fists and screams. Since she can't actually talk yet, this is a guess... but I am pretty sure they don't really hurt her much. Her scream is always more of a "WOAH dude.. WTH!" pissed kind of scream. After shots were done, I got her dressed and went out to the checkout counter. As we stood there, she was no longer crying, just sniffling and looking like she felt sorry for herself. It was then that the nurse walked by with his next patient. As he did so, he stopped momentarily to say goodbye and tell her he was sorry. Nurse: "Bye baby girl, I'm sorry!" And what does S do? Scrunches up her nose and whips her head in the other direction doing her best to ignore him. Snubbing people already at this age?!? I wonder what I am in for once she hits the teen years!

Since I was so busy with work, everything else from preparing to move, to posting pictures of S's bday to laundry fell by the wayside all week until today. I finally was able to get to the mounds of laundry that have been building up all over my house. I put the first load in just before I sat S down for lunch. As she heard the washer doing it's thing she suddenly stopped eating and started bobbing her head. I find it amazing how she can find rhythm in almost anything.

And that was my week. Moving right along to my last week as an AZ resident. Which promises to be an eventful week I am sure...

SMUD? (Single Mom, Ultimate Destroyer?)

I know my posts thus far have typically been light hearted, but tonight's post will be a bit more serious as I just feel I need to address something. So here goes...

I am a single mother and I am not ashamed of it, embarrassed by it, nor do I care what other people think about it. No one but me knows the whole story of how I became a single mom. Therefore if people would like to judge me or throw me and my daughter into some stereotype, fine by me. I keep seeing articles like this one http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42078511/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/  and other articles that claim "Single Mother's are bad for society" and it makes me a bit sad. Sad because I know that these articles get under the skin of some of my fellow single moms.

Here are some single parent household statistics:

She is a Mother:

• Approximately 84% of custodial parents are mothers, and
• 16% of custodial parents are fathers

She is Divorced or Separated:

Of the mothers who are custodial parents:

• 45% are currently divorced or separated
• 34.2% have never been married
• 19% are married (In most cases, these numbers represent women who have remarried.)
• 1.7% were widowed

Of the fathers who are custodial parents:

• 57.8% are divorced or separated
• 20.9% have never married
• 20% are currently married (In most cases, these numbers represent men who have remarried.)
• Fewer than 1% were widowed

She is Employed:

• 79.5% of custodial single mothers are gainfully employed

49.8% work full time, year round 29.7% work part-time or part-year

• 90% of custodial single fathers are gainfully employed

71.7% work full time, year round 18.4% work part-time or part-year

She and Her Children Do Not Live in Poverty:

• 27% of custodial single mothers and their children live in poverty
• 12.9% of custodial single fathers and their children live in poverty

She Does Not Receive Public Assistance:

Among custodial single mothers:

• 22% receive Medicaid
• 23.5% receive food stamps
• 12% receive some form of public housing or rent subsidy
• 5% receive receive TANF

She is 40 Years Old or Older:

• 39.1% of custodial single mothers are 40 years old or older

She is Raising One Child:

• 54% of custodial mothers are raising one child from the absent parent
• 46% have two or more children living with them

As you can see 27% of single moms (SMs) do live in poverty, but this does not mean that their children are not well taken care of. It also does not mean their children are doomed to be poverty stricken forever. It also does not mean that every single mother in the world is on some kind of public assistance. Yes, it maybe true that some single mothers utilize some form of public assistance, but every one I have ever known that has or is doing so is doing it because they are supporting their children completely solo. They are doing it solo because the "man" that impregnated them has skipped out on his financial responsibility. Just because child support is court ordered does not mean it always gets paid. There are many biological fathers who are not paying or are no where near current in their payments of child support. From my experience single mothers are only on assistance for a short time frame and are either in school or pursuing something that will better themselves and their financial situation.

From what I have gathered in the last year since becoming a single mom, there are four basic mentalities regarding SMs:

The Pitier: The pitier is someone who feels bad for a single mom and says things like "I can't even imagine, I don't know how you do it all alone, you are a stronger person then I am". They typically are mothers themselves or single women and are usually in awe of us SMs.

The Disgusted: The disgusted is my favorite because they are the first to judge and I love to roll my eyes at these types! They are typically older married women or older single women who love to talk about a SMs "situation". They say things behind your back instead of to your face. Things like "Well someone can't keep her legs closed" or "Something must be wrong with her if she can't even keep her child's father around".  My favorite thing about this type is their assumptions. They assume that we SMs were running around having unprotected sex with near strangers. Well of course we all were! Why else wouldn't our children's bio fathers be around!?!?

The Supportive: Now you would think this would be my favorite. While I like the supportive of course, I just get a better kick out of the above mentioned Disgusted. The supportive are of no typical type person. They do not judge, or ask lots of questions or feel bad for you. They simply support you, your child and everything you do. They say things like "I can babysit, why don't you take a night to yourself", "I love you" or "I think you are a great mom!". They are definitely essential to any single mom because you can talk to them about anything and know that they will simply just listen if that's what you need them to do.

The Relater: The relater is either a married or engaged woman who has at least one child. They say things like "I am a married single mom" or "I know I am married, but I may as well be a single mom since I do everything". In the first few months after becoming a mom, the relater did bother me for a short time. However, I now feel bad for them because even though they are married they often have less support then I do as a SM. Not to mention they are often trapped in unhappy marriages. But what I really feel bad about are the kids stuck in this situation with an unhappy mother and quite possibly an unhappy father.

The point? Everyone has their own opinions and everyone passes judgments without knowing the whole story.

The bottom line here is that No one knows my story, or any other single mother's story. There are SMs out there who became SMs because they were raped, widowed, divorced, or victims of abuse. They became mothers because their birth control failed or were told they could never have children. But none of that really matters to society now does it? Society doesn't care if your birth control failed or your ex husband met a hot 21 year old and filed for divorce after 10 years of marriage. Instead society only sees the numbers and not the story behind the numbers. This is just another indication that we as a society have a long way to go.

As I said at the beginning of this post, I for one do not care how people perceive me. They can think I was sleeping around unprotected or feel sorry for me or my child. It honestly does not bother me. What bothers me is knowing that there are many SMs out there that do feel ashamed or hurt by what other people think or say about them. Being a SM can be stressful enough at times and it is sad that SMs have to deal with this criticism as well.

I often hear from fellow SMs that they are tired of all these articles claiming we are destroying society and they wonder where the articles on the dead beat bio dads are. They simply just do not exist from what I can tell. No one really addresses the other side of things. 

I have never considered being a SM as a hardship, but I believe this to be directly related to my wonderful support system. If I did not have them my rambled views above may be drastically different. So I'd like to take this time to say Thank You to everyone who has been supportive. Whether it be by listening when I needed you to, putting me in my place when I needed it, babysitting, or just saying I think you're a great Mom... I thank you for it!

For those of you who think I am doing horrible things to society by raising my child out of wed lock... thank you! Your attitude will come in handy down the road when I begin instilling values and morals into my daughter and explain to her how important it is not to pass judgment on others but instead understand that everyone has their own unique story and should be accepted with open arms.