A How-To, Flies, and pennies

Retrieving Your Personal Belongings From a Trash Receptacle - A How To

Supplies Needed:
One Flat Head Mop
One Step Stool (you may be able to forgo the stool if you are 5'7" or taller)
A bunch of rags
Optional: Lysol Spray

Instructions:
1. Place stool approximately 6 inches from the side of Trash bin (if you happen to be at least 5'7", just stand in front of the bin and skip to step 3).

2. Kneel on stool with the mop in hand.

3. Descend mop into bin with the head of the mop pointing towards the bottom.

4. Place the head of the mop along the side of your belongings (the side that is furthest away from you, placing is crucial here!)

5. Slowly drag the mop along the bottom making sure that your things are coming along with it.

6. At this point you should have reached the side of the bin. Now very carefully continue to pull the mop towards you and up the side of the bin. (This takes skill, so don't be let down if it doesn't work the first time, just try again).

7. Continue dragging the mop (and your things) towards you up the side of the bin. Once the head of the mop is 12" inches from the rim of the bin, take your free hand and grasp your belongings tightly.

8. If your mop has a removable sponge (most flat head mops do) toss said sponge into bin.

9. Grab stool and take it along with the mop and your now germ infested belongings inside.

10. Take the rags and lightly wet them, then proceed to clean the mop and your "trash bin vacation going" belongings.

11. *Optional Step* Spray mop, your things and yourself with lysol.

I hope the above "How To" brings some clarity to my trash bin fiasco yesterday and possibly helps one of you in the future should you ever drop your belongings into one.

Alright now that I have covered that.... I have some BIG news! Are you ready?!?

THERE IS A NEW PENNY!

I'm not sure how I missed it, but the US Mint has made a new penny. For those of you unaware of this (as I myself was until today) I have included a photo of said penny.

The discovery of this penny threw me into a brain ramble today. As I was looking at it, I was telling myself how silly it was. And I asked myself "Why make a new penny when the old ones are just fine?".  I mean, who cares about a penny anyway? Have you heard the saying: "A penny saved is a penny earned" ? Well, it's bullshit... no one saves pennies! Alright maybe that's not entirely true, but you can't tell me that you have never thrown a penny into the trash. I found myself throwing one away just the other day just after S found it for me on the floor. How silly is that? It is money right? So why would I throw it away? The answer is quite simple, I didn't have any place to put it at the time and I didn't want it to somehow end up on the floor again as it is a major hazard to my infant child, so in the trash it went.

While on the subject of money, I find myself wondering often why we don't just print more of it since it is JUST paper. Don't get me wrong, I am well educated on why this would be a horrible idea, but at the same time I can't help but think it from time to time.

Moving right along, I'd like to mention something that happened to me today...

I started the day out by working. Which means I did something on the computer and then fixed it after S messed it up by slamming her pencil like fingers into the keys on my keyboard. I then retired my computer to play with her until her nap time. As soon as she was down and my keyboard was free of the pencil finger monsters, I proceeded to work. Then it happened, out of nowhere a tiny fly landed on my cheek. So naturally I slapped myself in an attempt to rid the world of this menace. For approximately 10 minutes I thought I had succeeded, until 2 more flies were suddenly buzzing around my head. As I flailed my arms around like a fool trying to get these tiny nuisances away from me I thought "Why the hell do we have fruit flies around here, we have nothing spoiling and everything is relatively clean". It was at this point I second guessed myself... Do fruit flies come around for fresh fruit or spoiled fruit? Suddenly I was unsure, but regardless of the answer to this question it was not about to solve my current problem.

After approximately 15 minutes of trying to swat these 2 tiny pricks, I put my computer down and took a walk around the house in hopes they would "forget" about me. Upon returning to the computer a few minutes later I thought it had worked, until I opened my mouth to talk on the phone and one flew inside and down my throat. I'm not quite sure what happened to the other one, but my guess is he saw his friend being eaten and hid somewhere.

And that sums up my day. If fruit flies do come around for sweet smells opposed to rotting, I blame Herbal Essence. Thanks for creating some aggravation in my day, You better hope "Indulging My Senses" tomorrow will make up for it!